The One About the Slap Heard Around the World and What It Teaches Us About Being Human

Dear West Family

I don’t usually watch award ceremonies. Something about them makes me feel really uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the desperation for affirmation that is so obviously evident in a room full of people who we would think no longer need any more affirmation and yet crave the approval of others telling them they did a good job, because the tens of millions of dollars they earned clearly wasn’t enough to make them feel as if they did. And so, they fast and work out for months and then they primp and preen for hours on end to make sure they look nothing at all like themselves just so that they can stand up and share their message that people would be more joyful if they simply accepted themselves just as they are. The sadness, the irony, and the hubris, are all tangible.

But, this week I watched some clips from the Oscars as the news began to circulate that there had been an incident of apparent violence between Will Smith and Chris Rock. I watched it with a sense of immense sadness. I have followed Will Smith’s career for years and always thought he was a truly likable character. I loved “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” and it taught me a lot about societal issues in American life that I had no idea about. “Bad Boys,” “The Pursuit of Happyness (sic)” and “I Am Legend'' were some of my favorite movies (please don’t judge me) and I really respected the way that Will brought levity and gravity to roles that he played. More recently, my family and I have loved the documentaries he did with Disney. To be fair, I never thought he was a good rapper, and I don’t think he did either, but he approached that sector of the industry with an unusual hope, winsomeness and a seeming ability to not take himself too seriously. 

All of this to say, I am a Will Smith fan and I want him to succeed, and I was deeply saddened to witness his meltdown. I have prayed for him and his family every night since (as well for Chris Rock) as it must be quite something to have your best and your worst day in front of tens of millions of people. I can’t imagine what they are all going through.

Over the last few days, a number of people have asked me what I thought about the incident. What did I think about Will? What did I think about Chris’ joke? What is a reasonable Christian response? I have had very few answers to any of those questions as I don’t know any of the parties personally and they certainly don’t particularly care for my thoughts. But I have thought a great deal about what I can learn from a moment like that. There is always more for me to learn if I stop and pay attention to something. Below are my (hopefully) humble thoughts, and I am painfully aware that there are more than enough takes on this topic, so please forgive me for using this space to process my own out loud.

In no particular order of importance, relevance or profundity.

People Really Are All the Same

If anyone should feel secure and at peace in accordance with the economies of success of the world, then it should be someone who is at the top of their game, globally famous, obscenely wealthy, and recognized for great work by their peers and the masses alike. And yet, you could sense the insecurity, fear, sadness and meaninglessness that inspired that moment. 

I say it all the time, but it is a heck of a thing to be a human being. We can produce such beauty in one moment and such horror in the next. None of us escape that. And so, we really should stop envying the apparent lives that others live. There is a reason that covetousness is looked at as a serious sin in the bible, because it rejects the wisdom of God in giving us the life that we actually have, and it is a diminishing of the Imago Dei in assuming that someone else’s life might be more valuable, joyful or significant than my own.

Friends, you're human. Be content. 

If You Don’t Deal With Your Hurt, Your Hurt Will Deal With You

You could feel the hurt, not from the slap (which Chris weathered like a champ) but from Will’s moist eyes and sharp tongue and sure strut. He didn’t walk like a man on a mission, he walked like a man with a wound. 

Friends, we carry so much pain with us from the rough and tumble of life intertwined with other sinners.

Go to counseling. Say “sorry.” Say “I forgive you.” Try to mean it. Go to counseling again. Repeat.

As recipients of the gospel, we are able to take our hurts to a God who understands pain and so we don’t have to carry it around forever, with the constant risk that one day it will flare up and hurt us or those around us, or both. 

Go to counseling. 

The Hollywood Worldview is Eating Itself in Real Time

Jim Carrey made a really insightful comment, and yes, I realize the unlikeliness of that statement. He said that the world watched on and realized that Hollywood weren’t the cool kids anymore. What we saw last Sunday was the bottom giving out on a purely progressive worldview which insists that you have to accept people as they are without question or correction. But what when you can’t? What do you do when a joke crosses a line? What do you do when someone follows their own instinct and it drives them into violence?

Now before you get too excited and think that Ross has finally become a proper Texas conservative, let me just say that I remain an outsider on the progressive/conservative continuum. Not a centrist, an outsider … a kingdomest if you like? The bible teaches us that some things need to be conserved and some things need to be progressed which means that we will and must find ourselves at odds with any of man’s systems of power or thought.

What a Kingdom opportunity we have to be a people of another way. People of the way of grace and truth. People of the way of Jesus. Hollywood’s worldview is madness and that was on full display, but now we need to embody a better way. 

We Have No Idea What Genuine Defense of the Vulnerable Looks Like

I have been bemused by the social commentary that has followed this event. People who would usually advocate for masculine defense of women have come out in rejection of Will Smith’s act of violence, and people who would ordinarily claim that women need no defense from anyone have applauded his efforts. The world really is a funny place sometimes.

It got me thinking. What would the way of Jesus have had Will do in that circumstance? Jesus had a way of fiercely defending those who were at the wrong end of society's prejudices (and I am not sure that there is one to one equation with Jada here) but He did that defending with non-violence, servanthood, prophetic correction, and the absorption of blows instead of the dishing out of them. What a thought to consider that we have a Savior who was mocked and offered no resistance, so that today we have an advocate who silences the taunts of the accuser. The way that Jesus treats us must have some shaping influence on the way that we seek to stand up for others.

We All Need Grace

My prayer is that Will, Chris, Jada, and many more will come to the end of themselves in the midst of all of this, and that they would turn to the truth of their Savior, Jesus Christ, who loves them and laid down His life for them.

I pray that we all would watch and learn and be careful lest we stumble into the same temptation. May the Lord use seemingly frivolous instances like this to shape and remind us of our deep need of Him and our absolute dependence on His daily mercies.

But for the grace of God, there goes I.

The song this week is from All Sons and Daughters. If you’re in a season of sorrow, it is for you.

All Sons & Daughters - You Hold It All Together (Lyric Video)

See you soon,
Ross