August and the Thirty Years After
Nostalgia is a bit of a liar. She can be a conniving trickster of sorts who lays layers of assured remembered greatness onto moments, and places, and relationships, and works of art which aren’t strong or sturdy enough to bear the weight of the remembered magnificence in the cold and penetrating light of current reality. This is often exposed when revisiting film or music which was deeply meaningful to you decades ago, but which leaves you moderately bemused on your revisitation, sometimes embarrassed even, that something so ordinary could have left such a mark on your young self. I am weary of this phenomenon today as I revisit an album that left a profound impact on me in the years immediately following its release, which was thirty years ago!
August and Everything After was the debut album from Counting Crows and it was released on September 14th, 1993. If you were a grungy teenager at the time, as I was, then 1993 was a big year for album releases. Pearl Jam released “Vs”, Nirvana released “In Utero”, The Smashing Pumpkins released “Siamese Dream”, and Radiohead released “Pablo Honey.” There were also significant releases from U2, The Cranberries, Bjork, PJ Harvey, Sting, Van Morrison, Depeche Mode, Collective Soul, Mazzy Star and Sherryl Crow. That’s before you jump into the pop and hip-hop scene which was also experiencing a bumper year.
None of those records though - as good as some of them are - have left a mark on me which has been as lasting and as deep as August and Everything After. I have listened to it top to tail maybe a dozen times in the last few weeks and I am very pleased to say that nostalgia wasn’t a liar with this one. Yes, it is overly dramatic and adolescently insecure, but my goodness it still holds up in the areas of song-writing, lyrical profundity and precision, production quality, and excellent musicianship.
My first exposure to Counting Crows was the video for Mr Jones. I saw it on a weekly music video show that was popular in South Africa at the time, and even though I was only 14 and hopelessly committed to the angry angst of Nirvana, I was spellbound by the musical sensibility of the band and the weirdly nerdy vulnerability of the dreadlocked lead singer, Adam Duritz. Duritz wasn’t cool, and this wasn’t surprising in an era of anti-cool frontmen, but he wasn’t cool even at being uncool which was different in the era when Ethan Hawke was trying to pretend to be uncool, and failing miserably at the task. Duritz came across as awkward, and self-aware, and uncomfortable in his own skin and in the space he shared with others, but the whole vibe he gave off felt like (potentially) tragic genius. The lyrics felt like something Bob Dylan would write, which was unashamedly referenced in the song itself, but the rhythmic flow of the melody stumbled over the top of the arrangement like a Charlie Chaplin sort of physical comedian pretending to fall down the stairs, only to reveal their genius in the fact that they were in control of the fall all the time. Duritz had this way of singing across the top of the well worn rhythmic grooves of the day, only to drop into the release of a chorus that was so “hooky” and so rhythmically locked in, that it revealed just how much control he had over “the fall” the entire time. This was Dylan with hooks. This was Dylan that maybe some girls would like. When I look back at it now, this was grunge’s version of Van Morrison. And I loved it.
It was only a full year later when I actually got to listen to the entire album in its fullness. My friend, Alan, got a copy of the CD (which was quite a big deal as CD technology was still quite expensive) and we spent full days in our school break listening to the record while we drank hot chocolate, spoke about what we thought the songs might be about, and dreamed of days when we might find some girls who were prepared to hang out with us, days when we too were going to be “big stars.” How differently life has turned out in adulthood, and that is actually the theme of the entire record. August and Everything After is an autobiographical telling of a restless, anxious, depressed and brilliantly talented young man making his way from a prolonged adolescence into adulthood. Duritz wrestles with rejection, love, lust, failure, maturity, and the things that must be lost to take a boy into a man in a world of necessary compromise and sacrifice.
What follows in this post then is a nerdy journey back through the songs on that record. I know that this level of detail is unnecessary and will go largely unread, but it is how I like to enjoy the truly great records, and I think this is one of them. So spin up the album in whatever format you prefer. Put some headphones on, pour a glass of something you can drink slowly, and let’s walk all the way back to 1993. I will look at each song through the lenses of lyrical theme (with a favorite line for most of them), as well as instrumentation and production.
Round Here
Theme and Lyrics
I can’t think of any album that I have ever listened to that has a better opening line than Round Here.
Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog
Where no one notices the contrast of white on white
And in between the moon and you
The angels get a better view
Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right
Goodness me. In terms of what that means and what the theme of the song is, it is probably best to let Duritz speak for himself.
"This is a song about me," lead singer Adam Duritz said of this song on Counting Crows VH1 Storytellers appearance. "The song begins with a guy walking out the front door of his house and leaving behind this woman. But the more he begins to leave people behind in his life, the more he feels like he's leaving himself behind as well, and the less substantial he feels about himself. That's sort of what the song's about: even as he disappears from the lives of people, he's disappearing more and more from his own life."
This is the ache and agony of getting to an age where you are finally independent, only to realize that the constraints of that independence are some of the greatest you will ever experience. Duritz tells the stories of tortured souls in a neighborhood all trying to come to grips with that reality, although in different ways. He begins to hint at the doubt of his own emotions and thought processes with the poignant line … “She says it’s only in my head.”
Instrumentation and Production
The simplicity of the opening guitar part lays a stark canvas off of which the rhythm section gets to paint quite complex and abstract figures. I absolutely love the drumming of Steve Bowman on this track. The 16th note off beat kick drum on every second bar keeps a tension that holds the song taught and allows it to release into the choruses. Bowman also has a little interchange between hi-hat triplets and a small splash cymbal in the breakdown after the bridge that I spent hours practicing as a young drummer and still really love. Its the kind of thing that modern producers would probably remove, and we are poorer for that.
T Bone Burnett left so much space in the mix and in the parts. The song sounds very much like it was recorded as a jam in a lounge (which it pretty much was) but that organic feeling can’t mask the fact that the structure is really well-crafted and wastes nothing in frills and distractions.
One of my favorite songs on the album, and still my favorite song to hear them perform live.
Omaha
Theme and Lyrics
The theme is one of unbridled disenchantment with adult reality. It is cynical about the purpose and meaning of daily life in middle-America where people are busting their guts for an existence that Duritz isn’t sure is worth living. Hence he wonders, or perhaps suggests …
I think you'd better turn your ticket in
And get your money back at the door
Instrumentation and Production
This song shocked me when i first heard it as I had almost no experience with any sort of country, folk, Americana tradition. The accordion (and the mandolin) sounded so out of place on a record that was blowing up rock charts, but it sets the tone of a song about middle-America perfectly. I love that there was no felt need for a massive electric guitar part over the top and the drums and bass stay out of the way beautifully, leaving room for the vocals to play in and out.
Overall it is actually one of my least favorite songs on the album, but it translates brilliantly live and is still a great driving song, especially for days on flat roads in middle-America.
Mr Jones
I skipped this song when it came up on mixes for years. I had just heard it too much and it felt cheesy to me as a result. On revisitation though, it is actually a remarkable piece of song writing.
Theme and Lyrics
I spent ages trying to figure out the meaning of this song only to hear Duritz explain in an interview that it means what it plainly describes in the lyrics. Duritz wrote the song about being at a bar with his friend Marty Jones (Mr Jones), where Marty’s dad (also Mr Jones) performed as a resident flamenco guitarist. Adam and Marty sit at the bar, and watch girls dancing to the music, and dream of what it might be like to make their way as famous performers who might be desirable to those girls.
The tragedy of the lyric is that he knows full well that he is pursuing something that will not be able to deliver on its promises, hence the defeat of the repeat line … “ when everybody loves you, you can never be lonely.”
The song ends in pensive defeat, where a statement sounds like an insecure question.
“Mr Jones and me, we’re going to be big stars.”
It was something of a generational theme at the time where people longed for fame and resented those who had it at the same time. Come to think of it, that might still be a theme today, and as someone who pursued fame through a music career (and failed spectacularly in that pursuit) it has a very special resonance with me still.
Instrumentation and Production
This is one of those songs that sounds so sparse and is structured so simply that you assume that it would be really easy to play and imitate. But, if you have ever played in a cover band that has attempted to play it, or if you have been subject to any such band’s attempt, you will realize that there is a musical sensibility in the playing and the selected parts that can only be accomplished by those with that rare combination of experience and restraint. Everything actually lags a little, holding the tempo back from the sprint that you assume the song wants to achieve, but it is the holding back and the production restraint that gives the song the knowing wink to go with the lyrical uncertainty and underlying insecurity. One genius production piece is the growing volume and frequency of the Beach Boys-esque backing vox part in the chorus. Listen to it closely. I love how it builds and allows the song to release towards the end.
Perfect Blue Buildings
Theme and Lyrics
The record takes a dark and reflective melancholic turn here and it remains for the next three songs. Duritz begins to unveil the depths of mental anguish and possible illness he experiences here and the song possesses a poignant weight that feels almost dangerous to sit in lest you get lost in a hole.
The second verse and chorus captures the heaviness perfectly.
It's 4:30 A.M. on a Tuesday
It doesn't get much worse than this
In beds in little rooms in buildings in the middle
of these lives which are completely meaningless
Help me stay awake, I'm falling...
Asleep in perfect blue buildings
Beside the green apple sea
Gonna get me a little oblivion
Try to keep myself away from myself and me
In seasons when I have wrestled my own demons of depression and anxiety induced sleeplessness, I have felt exactly like these lines. I dare not dwell there, and the song feels so desperate that you feel compelled to reach in and pull Duritz out of it at points.
Instrumentation and Production
This drum part is nothing short of genius. The brush strokes against the snare which give way to stick strikes on the ride after the bridge give the song real movement, but it’s the hi-hat pattern on the upbeat that holds the tension all the way through. Again, they avoid the temptation to invade the space with big guitars, content to let the hammond organ haunt the background. It does the job well.
Anna Begins
Theme and Lyrics
There is a continuation of the desperately sad theme but it now turns from pure self-reflection and superimposes itself on an intense relationship. Duritz has reflected that it details a short but intense relationship he experienced (or perhaps imagined) with a young woman (Anna) that he met while on vacation. In that context, the intensity is almost embarrassing. It is Shakespearian and adolescent in the depths that it allows a short-term connection to be so overwhelming, but we have all been there, well I have anyway. He knows that he isn’t ready for a serious relationship, and so fights with all he can to resist getting lost in the intensity of what feels like love, but a love that he isn’t prepared to sacrifice and compromise for.
I have always loved the flippancy and the intensity of this section of the lyrics.
This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and Anna begins to change my mind
And every time she sneezes I believe it's love and
Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing
Instrumentation and Production
The best drum part on the record! It makes me sad that Steve Bowman left the band after this record. I really, really love the openness of the drum sounds on this track. It sounds like you are sitting in the room with a well tuned kit. It is a skill to leave them that open and to still allow them to have sufficient size in the mix. The big guitars make a comeback but not in a starring role. They are more than willing to let the groove dance and play in and out of the intensity of the vocal.
Time and Time Again
Theme and Lyrics
The third of three really sad songs, and this one might feel the saddest. It details the break-up of the relationship that formed in “Anna Begins” and it captures the gut-wrenching pain of the heartbreak that comes at the end of a relationship. The opening lines are magnificent.
I wanted so badly
Somebody other than me
Staring back at me
But you were gone
I wanted to see you walking backwards
And get the sensation of you coming home
I wanted to see you walking away from me
Without the sensation of you leaving me alone
Anyone who has experienced the heartache of a break up or of an unrequited love will get readily and easily lost in this one. I nearly wore this song out in 1995 when I suspected that I loved a girl (I was actually quite sure I did), and it was undeniable that she didn’t feel the same way. It is hard to match how all-encompassing that feels at the time. That is a grace because you don’t want to live there long.
Instrumentation and Production
What interesting bass parts that walk beneath the song and keep it from falling into inactive despair. There is also an organ “solo” that allows the song to open up into its most desperate of pleas … “ so when are you coming home, sweet angel?” Hint … she isn’t.
Rain King
Theme and Lyrics
The third single of the record, Rain King really lifts the mood, and not a moment too soon!
On Counting Crows VH1 Storytellers special, Duritz explained that the song was formed out of a deep affection that he had for the 1959 Bellow novel, Henderson the Rain King . He added that it became a metaphor for how he spoke and thought about his creative process.
"The book became a totem for how I felt about creativity and writing: it was this thing where you took everything you felt inside you and just sprayed it all over everything. It's a song about everything the goes into writing, all the feelings, everything that makes you want to write and pick up a guitar and express yourself. It's full of all the doubts and the fears about how I felt about my life at the time."
Instrumentation and Production
Again, this is an up tempo song that is actually surprisingly difficult to play without “digging in” and making it feel aggressive, or floating on top of it and making the tempo feel flippant. It takes a lot of feel to let the song have both urgency and space, and this one has plenty of both. One of my stand out songs on the record. Also, I really love that Burnett left the anguished “yeah” right at the end of the track.
Sullivan Street
Theme and Lyrics
I would be a little lost in what the imagery here might mean except that Duritz has taken time to explain this song on a few occasions at live shows. It details a serious relationship that Duritz had with a young lady who grew up (and still lived) in a very conservative, religious home. This meant that Duritz wasn’t allowed to stay over at her house and so spent many evenings driving home from her house to his place on Sullivan Street. It is in anguish, on one of those drives home, that he realizes that - once again - he doesn’t have what it takes to make the relationship work.
“It’s almost everything I need.”
The problem is the almost. This song is tender, and tragic, and true, and deals with the inevitability of leaving that besets a restless soul. Even when that soul finds almost everything it needs.
Instrumentation and Production
So simple. Just four chords and a clean guitar sound with all of the rest feeling like a rehearsal jam. I do love the addition of the female backing vox towards the end, which is credited to Maria MacKee.
Ghost Train
Theme and Lyrics
I am not entirely sure what this song is about to be honest, and the layers of complex metaphor seem way deeper here than anywhere else on the record.
Instrumentation and Production
The drum part! The drum part! The drum part!
Maybe that is why I have never actually figured out the rest of the song, because I could listen to the drumming all day. It is so complex but never overwhelms, and the sound of those toms in that fill right at the end!!! Mercy.
Raining in Baltimore
Theme and Lyrics
This might be the saddest point in the album, and it has pretty stiff opposition for that title! This is Duritz at his lowest point, looking back at his life (he was raised in Baltimore) and wondering what it is that he might need to help him to feel better, and to help him to endure. This song rings true for those who have experienced the hopelessness of deep depressive episodes. You want to be better, but you just don’t really know what you need to get you there.
There's things I remember and things I forget
I miss you
I guess that I should
Three thousand five hundred miles away
But what would you change if you could?
I need a phone call
Maybe I should buy a new car
I can always hear a freight train
If I listen real hard
And I wish it was a small world
Because I'm lonely for the big towns
I'd like to hear a little guitar
I think it's time to put the top down
I need a phone call
I need a raincoat
Instrumentation and Production
Sometimes producers need to add layers to make a song come to life, and sometimes a producer needs to protect the vulnerable purity of song by keeping any of those layers away from it. This song required restraint, and I am very grateful that it was left the space to be the quiet whisper that it is.
A Murder of One
My favorite song on the album. I have always loved it, and in part because I played in a cover band that used to close our opening set with this song. It was one of the most fun songs to play as a drummer, and builds to such a wonderful crescendo after a prolonged break down. I still turn it up and shush other people down every time it comes on.
Theme and Lyrics
Duritz has spoken about how the song - at a surface level - is written for and about a friend stuck in an abusive relationship. However, he has also said that is some ways the song contains the entire theme of the album which is the deep desire he has for and the deep fear he has of change. It is thus fitting that ”change, change, change” is the last lyric of the album.
Instrumentation and Production
This song just soars and is allowed to do so with ringing guitars and singing drums. It is such a fitting end to an album that has built so much tension for so long and here breathes it all out in a final cry of what sounds just a little bit like hope.
Nostalgia can be a bit of a liar, but she speaks truth when she says that this record from 30 years ago is one of the greats. It details the journey of maturity, mental health, broken relationships, self-doubt, longing, and the deep seated need that we all have to see ourselves changed. It still holds up today sonically, thematically, musically and lyrically and I think it just might be good enough to stand amongst some of the greats for another 30 years.
Believe in me
Help me believe in anything
'Cause I wanna be someone who believes
Me too Adam. Me too.
